Interviews of key persons behind Anil Kumble’s appointment as India’s head coach

Interviews of key persons behind Anil Kumble's appointment as India's head coach

By Updated: Jun 26, 2016, 11:05 AM IST

So the cat is finally out of the bag. After much media speculation about who will be saddled with the onerous responsibility of coaching the Indian cricket team, the BCCI announced, in Dharamsala, the appointment of former Karnataka and India skipper Anil Kumble, as the new head coach. The selection screenings were held in Kolkata. At 45 years of age and having retired not so long ago, it was felt that Kumble will not be viewed as ‘boss figure’ like Greg Chappell, but will be accepted by the team more as ‘one of them’. The UnReal Times, fleet of foot and quick to jump on the bandwagon, fanned out across the country to get reactions from various ‘interested’ people. Also Read: Ravi Shastri labels Advisory Committee 'Friendship Club'; Arvind Kejriwal lends support Anurag Thakur (AT), President, BCCI The UnReal Times (URT) – “Your first reactions on Kumble’s choice, Sir?” AT – “You can have my first, second and third reactions. It’s a great choice that Sachin, Saurav and Laxman have made. The three wise men, as you media chaps have dubbed them. This great non leg spin googly bowler has great experience and maturity and he will do a great job”. URT – “Sorry, did you say non leg spin googly bowler?” AT – “Yes, Anil never turned the ball, one way or the other. He got so many wickets because the batsman, thinking he was a leg spinner, played for the turn which never came, and were deceived. Shane Warne told me this, with a touch of envy.” Sachin Tendulkar (SRT) – Need we say more? URT – “Sachin, what clinched it for Anil? Wasn’t it neck and neck with Shastri?” SRT – “Anil has some great contacts in the software capital, Bangalore. So he put together a dazzling multi-media presentation, with some amazing graphics and special effects. We didn’t understand a word of what was going on, so we had to assume it was the best pitch. And we decided to give the job to him. Ravi Shastri was sound, but he kept harping on Virat to be made captain across all formats, which kind of queered the pitch, ha ha, for him.” Sourav Ganguly (Dada) – Need we say more? URT – “Dada, was the choice of Kumble unanimous?” Dada – “Well, VVS was gunning for Tom Moody, what with his Hyderabad Sunrisers connection. Sachin, whatever he may have told you, was dead keen on Shastri, what with his Mumbai connection. I had Deep Dasgupta in my shortlist, but the blighter never showed up.. He missed his No.24 tram from Gariahat, and also the connecting No.33 bus from Hazra Road / Chetla crossing. This, after I promised him Ola taxi fare. Shot himself in the foot. A kind of own goal. So naturally we all decided on Anil. Unanimously.” VVS Laxman (VVS) – he of the supple wrists, Azhar’s Hyderabadi clone URT – “VVS, what was the telling factor behind Anil’s selection?” VVS – “Between you and me, I was not keen on Anil. I have taken so many catches off his bowling standing in the slips, but all the credit goes to him. Tom Moody was my pick, but Sachin and Saurav could not understand word he was saying, in his thick Western Australian accent. I was able follow him because of weeks of practice sharing a room with him while we were doing duty for the Sunrisers Hyderabad. But players like, Barinder Sran, Mandeep Singh, Yuzvendra Chahal, Wriddhiman Saha and so on, will be completely lost. So I guess it had to be Anil.” Virat Kohli (VK) – India’s heart throb captain URT – “Virat, as India’s test captain, what do you think of Kumble as your coach?” VK – “Look, in case you missed it, Anil Bhai has been appointed coach for just one year. All the test matches during this period will be played in India, something like 13 tests. On our feather beds, we should be able to win all the matches, and I will break every single batting record that exists. So, ki farak painda?” MS Dhoni (MSD) – need we say more? URT – “MS, what values will Kumble bring to the limited format of the game?” MSD – “That is a complex question and deserves a complex answer. See, you may have forgotten, but I took over from Anil Bhai as captain for the tests, and I was also parallely the captain of the ODI team when he was still the test captain. Then he injured his finger and I took over against the Aussies in India, and he retired before the series ended. All this has to be properly analysed before I can give you a straightforward answer. But Anil Bhai is also a very analytical man, so both of us should have a great time analyzing and over analyzing everything under the sun. Finally, Anil Bhai has been given a one year term. So if I retire by that time, which some people are hoping, then I can also present my credentials to be the coach of the team next year.” URT – “ Wow.Thank you MS, for that excruciatingly detailed and insightful explanation. We understand. We think.” Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction (Suresh Subrahmanyan Bangalore based brand communications consultant, occasional columnist, deeply interested in western classical and Carnatic music and 70s pop and rock, follow cricket and tennis, and an avid fan of P.G. Wodehouse. The above article is reproduced with permission from UnReal Times.)

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