Jonathan Trott, Graeme Smith eye international comeback as Mitchell Johnson retires; Virat Kohli upset

In the Ashes 2013-14, the cricket ball almost became a hand grenade and English batsmen were made to jump and bog down and even retire mid-way through the series in an obvious attempt to save their lives.

Cricket is a team game but very rarely one player can get into the skin of an opponent team and wreck havoc not only physically but also mentally. Something similar happened when a down and out Australian team brought a moustached marauder back into their team for the Ashes at their home in 2013-14. What happened next is right out of a fairy tale. Mitchell Johnson tormented the English batters and brought their worst nightmare to reality. The cricket ball almost became a hand grenade and English batsmen were made to jump and bog down and even retire mid-way through the series in an obvious attempt to save their lives.

The then English middle-order mainstay Jonathan Trott had come to Australia with a lot of runs and reputation behind him but it was all literally turned to ashes as Johnson forced him to leave the tour mid way through the series and spinner Graeme Swann retired after the third Test.

Trott made a comeback in early 2015 but it wasn’t successful and he retired (maybe the Ashes was to follow next and the Johnson fear still loomed over his mind). Anyways, on Tuesday morning as Johnson’s retirement news reached England, Trott had tears rolling down his cheek as he felt he had timed his retirement wrong. He was delighted that the man who had forced him to exile was now retiring himself. That news was enough for Trott to quickly ask his wife to bring his England kit pack out of closet and he even called up England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) director, Andrew Strauss, who was equally delighted with the news of Johnson’s retirement. If all goes well, we could see Trott batting for England again in next Ashes but let’s hope the other Mitchell, Starc doesn’t step into the Johnson shoes. Also, Graeme Smith who had his hand broken by Mitchell Johnson may also announce a comeback since his two nemeses Johnson and Zaheer Khan have retired. An elated Hashim Amla welcomed the decision, as he believes that will help his struggling South African side sort their opening dilemma.

While it’s good news for some, it’s not so good for others. Virat Kohli was overheard murmuring in the Indian dressing room at Bangalore: “BC, playing Australia will not be a challenge anymore without [Brad] Haddin and Mitch. My vocab will take a beating.”

It’s not Kohli who is just upset, helmet manufacturers are expecting a recession in their sales however, they are trying to persuade Starc to bowl bouncers now instead of fast full-length deliveries. Clearly, Johnson’s retirement has once again divided the cricketing world but believe me, most batsmen are delighted. Read more on Mitchell Johnson’s retirement

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

[Devashish Palkar, an MBBS student, A sports afficionado, news addict and a patient of OCSD ( Obsessive Compulsive Satirical Disorder)].